I have spent a week out of work and on sick leave. Bedridden I coughed, sneezed, I thought of better days and how much I will appreciate breathing without restrains once the battle with illness is over. Not being able to do to much I took tablet in my hands and just drew how I was feeling. Really fast, really without thinking. Next day I drew an illustration once again – about how I was feeling. And another day. And another. And I had so many thoughts on what I want to draw, I started thinking about all the ideas I have had but never realised in physical form, I started writing and watching movies, and writing about watching movies. Those days – although with physical difficulties to breathe – were the days I was able to breathe the most. The days where I constantly felt the chest-gripping anxiety of a job that is awaiting for me, yet days where I let my spirit go and wonder, days where I did not try to “be productive” yet also they became days where many ideas were birthed.

I thought I always drew how I feel but now I feel that I have lost myself.